The Lincoln Plawg - the blog with footnotes

Politics and law from a British perspective (hence Politics LAW BloG): ''People who like this sort of thing...'' as the Great Man said

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Friday, August 20, 2004

Another October Surprise possibility (in theory)

Already, we have OSs stacked half way across the Atlantic.

Let me run this up the flagpole: a half-caste Vietnamese claims that Kerry is his father. Goose it up with prostitution or rape; or that the girl was only fourteen at the time.

Stir in a challenge to Kerry to take a DNA test. Rumours that someone with Kerry DNA (his barber?) has supplied same for testing...

Any self-respecting roorback includes an element of miscegenation - one of the many aspects in which the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth scam falls short (on the detail of which we get some actual journalism from the New York Times, of all places.)

Either the candidate has a touch of the tar-brush (Harding, Eisenhower), or a taste for brown sugar has resulted in a bun in the oven (Jefferson, John McCain). (Lies, of course - even in the case of Jefferson, probably.)

A Kerry bastard would certainly have plausibility - though the guy was, I believe, on a tight schedule [1]: fabulists are far more likely to trip up over dates that Kerry is.

Of course, if the (at present, entirely speculative) Kerry bastard is an attractive girl, refugee to the US, college educated, a doctor - well, it might be Kerry's handlers who'd want to pull the stunt. What better than an ├╝ber-Oprah moment - tearful reunion, yadda, yadda, yadda - to convince a sceptical public that Kerry is human after all.

Come to think of it, I reckon it plays much better as a Kerry stunt - because, that way, the DNA and the dates can be fudged (there must be quite a few Vietnamese in the categories previously mentioned who might play the role), and the Bush hacks will be tempted to goose the base by preaching hell-fire, which will alienate swing voters.

Of course, when Alex smacks the daddy-snatching bitch in the mouth on live TV, it might not look so good...

  1. The Kerry site's timeline for the man's Vietnam service.

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